Yesterday I experienced one of the scariest moments in my life! My entire life! I’ve tried to move on from it, but it’s weighing heavy on my heart and I really can’t seem to shake it. I keep replaying the events in my head and all of the ways that it could’ve went from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. Hopefully writing about what happened will help me heal.
Jailah and I went to the dollar store yesterday so that I could return some items and purchase a few more things for my sister’s baby shower tomorrow. I was completely annoyed with the manager and the cashier in the store because they just seemed to make the process way more difficult than it really needed to be. After finally finishing my transaction the manager noticed that the cashier didn’t circle the returned items on the receipt so she wanted to sit there and do it all before giving me my original receipt. I was like don’t worry about it and walked out. I certainly didn’t want to be in there any longer! Or so I thought…
Jailah and I walked out of the dollar store talking and laughing in our own little world while crossing the street. By the time we made it to the middle of the street I heard “Don’t f*cking move! Stay still!” I looked to my left and there was an officer with a vest on in the grass not too far from my car with his gun on these two guys. My brain processed the situation in a split second and I realized that this could go way left real quick! I was too far from the dollar store door to run back in there. My car was too close to them and Wawa was too far. Everything else was open space. Thankfully there was a huge pickup truck in the first parking space near us so we ran there and ducked for cover just in case these guys refused to go down without a fight. I was shaking as I noticed officers in plain clothes coming from all different directions in the parking lot towards them. Seeing the officers with their guns drawn, having to duck behind the truck for cover and hearing the aggression in their voices scared me, but it scared my baby to the core. She was crying hysterically and screaming “I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die Mommy!” I tried to comfort her, but the truth of the matter was I really didn’t know what was going to happen. All I knew was that I was going to do whatever it takes to get my baby and I out of there. I couldn’t imagine being in the middle of a gun battle between the cops and these guys. I also couldn’t help but think about the possibility of these guys being killed by the cops if they didn’t comply or if the cops felt like they were in danger. Two young African American men surrounded by police with guns drawn. That situation didn’t go so well for quite a few people so I was very concerned about what we walked into. One wrong move by any of them could’ve put us in even more danger than we were already in. Not even 30 seconds after ducking behind the truck undercover cars and trucks came flying around the corner and a few seconds later marked cars were pulling up as well. They had them completely surrounded. It was like a scene straight up out of a movie. After seeing all the cars pulling up and ATF agents running to the scene I peeked to see if it was safe to make a move. I saw both guys on the ground and the officers appeared to have control of the situation so I pushed the button on my keys to open the side door and told Jailah that we were going to run to the car. I grabbed her, put her in the car, got in and maneuvered my way around some spectators so that I could exit from the other end of the shopping center.
We were back home in 3 minutes flat. I thanked God over and over again for covering us and allowing us to make it home and out of that situation safely. After consoling Jailah I was able to take a moment to breath and calm down. I tried to let it go. I tried to go on about my evening like it never happened, but I just couldn’t. My head was pounding and my mind was torturing me with all of the things that could’ve happened. “What if I parked the car one more space up and ended up right next to them as the cops pulled their guns?” “What if they didn’t want to get down and decided to grab us to keep the cops away?” “What if we had nowhere to hide?” “What if we would’ve decided to walk down to another store instead of going straight to the car?” “What if the guys ran and the cops started shooting our way?” All of these “what ifs” are constantly playing in my mind, but what’s worse is hearing the terror in my baby’s voice as she cried and told me that she didn’t want to die. That hurts my soul and every time I think about it I start crying. I never want my babies to feel the fear that she had in her heart yesterday. We both could’ve been seriously harmed or lost our lives yesterday if someone else would’ve made a bad decision. There are no words to explain how that feels.
I pray for my family everyday and I ask God to keep us safe and away from any type of harm. I ask that he cover us top to bottom, inside and out, and all around. Today we were covered! Regardless of how scared I was I immediately went into survival mode and Mommy the protector mode. Some people crumble when they have to make split second decisions. I thank God for giving me the strength to assess my situation and do what was best for us.
This situation is proof that it’s not always about the city. It’s about the people. We live in a great neighborhood that’s literally all of 3 minutes (maybe 5 if you get caught waiting for traffic at the stop sign) from this shopping center. There are a few people that I’ve seen in other neighborhoods surrounding the shopping center that seem suspect, but overall it’s relatively quiet. I’ve been in and out of that dollar store and many other stores in that shopping center more times that I could even begin to count since we moved to the area almost 2 years ago. I would have never guessed that I would witness something like this. I’m not sure if those guys were just in the area or if they actually live in the area, but their presence in that area made me feel like I was in Wilmington. Not that I’ve ever experienced that in Wilmington, but you hear about that type of behavior in the city from time to time. The county is clearly not exempt! The suburbs aren’t exempt either! All it takes is one bad apple to ruin the bunch. One person can make a decision that changes everything for those around him/her. I have no idea what these guys did or who they were, but I am very thankful that they weren’t selfish enough to risk the lives of those around them for an attempt at freedom.
Life is so precious! Cherish every single second because you really never know what you’re going to walk into! Everyday we leave our families to go to work, school, the store or to run errands not knowing if it’s going to be our last time seeing them. That’s the reality of this life we live. Make sure your loved ones know that you love them. Don’t make them assume. Tell them! Show them! You don’t want to have any regrets if something tragic were to happen. I don’t know about you, but I want my flowers and love while I’m here!
Just in case you haven’t heard it today… God loves you and so do I!
Thanks for listening fam.
Love,
Mrs. Accountabilitee
Mrs. Accountabilitee 